In America we eat man semen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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