when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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