Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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