I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
