whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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