What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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