Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
