At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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