Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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