is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
