If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
