no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
