If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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