I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So much rum. So many feels.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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