I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize