Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
