Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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