Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
