Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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