My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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