you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
