my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
