Pappa wants mamma naked
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think my fart just growled at me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
