he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
