I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
