I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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