he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Randomize
