Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it glows. i had to have it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
