so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
