i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
