Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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