I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
