Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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