when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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