i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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