I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
