Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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