My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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