the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
