can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
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I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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