This is not my ceiling
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
