Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
