yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
