okay pat passed out under dana's car
Small penises have feelings too.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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