I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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