i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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