Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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