we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
