....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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