So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
