Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Operation Purity has been aborted
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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