Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He told me they were just razor bumps!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
