please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
