Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
