Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
