I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
