no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He better not be in your backpack
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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