I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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