My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
COCAINE IS GR8
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
