'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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